this+is+where+i+leave+you



Week One: December 4

Food: Kelsey Discussion Leader: Kris Questions: Lenny Recorder: Ali

Topic: Characters (Section 1 out of 5 of your text)

Assignment: 1. On your group's wiki page, describe the main characters in your text. What makes them interesting? What is their story or background? Why are you drawn to them? Conversely, are there any characters that you just cannot stand? Why not?

Judd: Judd is the main character and the whole book is told is his prospective. We agreed that he is our favorite character and we all feel bad for him. He stayed faithful to his wife, but she went and cheated on him. We also noticed that he often let his emotions get the best of him. Jen: We think that she is manipulative and selfish. She cheated on Judd for a year with his boss which further put him in an awkward position. Even after Judd caught Jen with Wad, Jen just simply stayed selfish and shunned out Judd Phillip: Ali thinks Phillip is hot. Phil is going out with his ex-therapist and he is the youngest out of the Foxman family. At times he seems innocent, but we think that he is hiding something. Never the less, he is one of your favorite characters. Tracey: She was Phil's therapist. She's going out with Phillip and she is about 10 years older than Phillip is. We think that Tracey is one of those women who sleep around often. She also grew up in a very proper family where the family members were very close with each other which is the complete opposite of the Foxman's family. Barry: As of now, Barry has seemed pretty quiet but we think that sometime later in the story, he's going to cause some type of commotion within the family. He's the workaholic. Alice: We think that she has a bad attitude but all the characters seem to like her. She's married to Paul. Paul: He is the oldest of the Foxman family. He seemed like an arrogant, self centered person.

2. > 3. We ate Kelsey’s brownies. They were good, if a little small. But Mommy McGrail made them, so I guess Kelsey didn’t have control over that. We discussed our aversion to the graphic nature of the sex scenes in the novel. We discussed our feelings towards the different characters in the novel, and then answered Lenny’s questions about how we related to characters and the family. We then discussed if Judd should take his wife back and how we felt about his perceptions of marriage and family. We had a very enriching discussion. Week 2: December 11
 * Which character can you relate to most?
 * Ali: Judd because I am pathetic like him. When he feels depressed I’m like, “That’s me!”
 * Kelsey: I think I relate to Wendy the most because she can say things as they are. She is very straight forward.
 * Kris: Barry because I can’t relate to any of the others and he is a workaholic.
 * Lenny: I think I can relate to Judd the most because my thought process can often be the same way, but less funny.
 * How does your family compare to this family?
 * Ali: My family isn’t like them at all because we choose to keep calm at the time and reflect later as opposed to getting angry and aggressive during the issues.
 * Kelsey: My family can be dysfunctional like them. Sometimes we yell a lot too and there can be a lot of hidden emotions when my extended family is there too.
 * Kris: My family is the complete opposite of the Foxman family and similar to Tracy’s because we don’t piss each other off like the Foxmans.
 * Lenny: Most of the time my family doesn’t have too much trouble. Usually we get along very well. My family is actually very different from the Foxman’s to be honest.
 * If Judd’s wife was truly sorry about cheating on him and wanted to stay together, do you think Judd should forgive her?
 * No, because she didn’t have enough justification to cheat. If she wasn’t cheating on him for so long, then perhaps.
 * Judd says at one point, “You get married to have an ally against your family”. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
 * Ali: I don’t agree because I’m independent and can take on my family all by myself.
 * Kelsey: I think marriage is stupid. I don’t really agree with that because I think people get married because they are lonely sometimes, not to defend against their families.
 * Kris: I wouldn’t really know because my family is really close, so I don’t know what its like to have a complicated family.
 * Lenny: Almost 100% of the time, a wife or even just a close relationship has nothing to do with your family, but it is nice to have somebody to turn to when you want to complain about your family or have your actions justified.
 * Do you think Judd made the right choice in quitting his job?
 * Ali: I think Judd made the wrong choice but I would have too. Wade was trying to gloss everything over, and that’s not right.
 * Kelsey: I agree with Ali that it was a bad idea because now he is screwed and he shouldn’t have quit because he should have just sucked it up.
 * Kris: He definitely should not have quit because now he doesn’t have a job, a life, wife, or a home.
 * Lenny: There is no way I could have gone on working at the radio station. Seeing Wade there everyday would kill me so much on the inside, and I’d rather walk out and be without a job than work there without pride.

Food: Ali Questions: Kelsey, Kris Book Summary: Lenny (Ali was the only one there)

1. Do you think Judd's view/fear of older people and getting old is new? Do you think he's always been that negative about it, or is that attitude newly developed? Why? 2. What purpose does Linda serve in Judd's life at the current time? Do you think every has someone like that in their life? Do you have anyone who guides you like Linda guides him? 3. How do you think Horry feels about his own injury? How do you think he wants other people to feel about his condition? 4. What do you think Judd's missing leg dream symbolizes? 5. Throughout the book so far, but especially in this section, Judd judges people very quickly and very easily, and it's very unfair. Do you think he's always been like this, or do you think it's more recent that he's become so judgmental?
 * Kelsey's Questions**
 * Judd wasn't afraid of getting older until he realized that he was all alone. He was never afraid of getting older because he was with Jen but then he realized as she cheated on him that he didn't want to die alone.
 * Linda is basically Judd's aunt. She is really just his mothers best friend, but she has become a part of their family after being so close to them for so long, and she is the only person Judd can open up to.
 * Horry feels sorry for himself, and is extremely upset that he had to go through the head trauma and is now so slow. However, he does not want others to pity him or give him special treatment.
 * Judd's dream about not having a leg most definitely symbolizes something. It is possible that this just symbolizes that he is missing a vital part of his life. Legs support people, and he does not have anyone to support him right now in his time of need.
 * He has always had that aspect to his personality, but it took all of these tragedies in his life to really bring out this quality.

Essentially, this is a story about a very upset, very cynical 35 year old man named Judd who has just been cheated on by his wife. What's worse is that the man who she cheated with was Judd's boss, Wade. At the same time, his father has died. In all of this horrible mayhem, he is now expected to go to his parents' house for an entire week to "sit shiva" where the family reflects on the deceased's life respectfully in the Jewish religion. Judd first meets up with his family in the cemetery as his father is lowered into the ground. It is very rainy, and he rants in his mind about how terrible the weather is and how he is very upset that instead of thinking about his father, he is thinking about the disgusting weather and his wet clothes. A childhood friend of his (Charlie, who is referred to as Boner due to his addiction to pornography as a child) says a few words. He is a rabbi. Then Judd's younger brother Phillip arrives late and disrespectfully. Back at the house, tempers flare as Judd is fighting with his siblings and mother. They haven't seen eachother in a long time for the most part, and things usually don't go to well when they are all in the same place. The four siblings don't want to stay for seven days, but Judd's mother insists. Judd has to spend the nights in the basement, because the couples get to stay in the rooms in beds. He gets a pullout sofa. At 18 chapters into this story, Judd is very frustrated and just trying to get over his soon to be ex-wife. Everywhere he looks he is reminded of his misery and constantly checking out the women all around him. Luckily, he does have a fall back plan. On the second day sitting shiva, he visits his old friend Penny. They used to be interested in each other through high school, and they promised each other that they'd get married at 40 if they were both still single. So Judd still has some hope at 35. On the third day's morning, the family is all eating breakfast and Paul, Judd's older brother starts to speak. He explains everything about the stocks of their father's business being passed down in the will. Phillip admits that he wants to help Paul run the business, but Paul is angered by this, because phillip never accomplishes much of anything with his life. This elevates to a fist fight, and it is at that moment that Judd's wife enters the kitchen.
 * Lenny's Book Summary**

At this point, part two of the book is finished.

Ali was the only one there. She ate alone. It was a pretty typical day for Ali.
 * Meeting Summary**

Food: Lenny Discussion Leader: Kelsey Questions: Ali Recorder: Kris
 * Week Three:**

It may mean that he is in love with his problems. Another possibility is that he feels as if he wasn't loved as a child because his mom was too busy writing books telling other people how to parent instead of parenting her own children. This may lead to many of their insecurities and dysfunction later in life. Kris thinks that he is avoiding her because he loves her and it hurts too much to see her but Lenny thinks that he genuinely hates her and that's why he is trying to cut her out off his life completely. We agree that Judd may be happier with someone with someone who understands him better and thinks in a manner more similarly to him. If he is not too scared to open up after Jen broke his heart, they will probably become romantically entangled. Kris thinks he will get back with Jen because the baby links him to her and he can't sever the ties. Kelsey does not think that because she is already with Wade and neither of them want to be together so there is no reason for them to end up together. He will be happiest when he is with Penny, in our opinion. At this point, it seems like he might end up with Jen because of the baby, but we don't think that will happen.
 * 1. What do you think the significance of Philip's relationship with his therapist is?**
 * 2. Do you think Judd is avoiding confrontation because he still loves Jen or because he genuinely hates her?**
 * 3. What do you think will happen with Penny Moore?**
 * 4. Why does the baby change the situation so much? How do think this will affect Judd's reasoning?**
 * 5. What do you think it will take for Judd to be happy again? Do you think he needs a significant other to be happy?**

1. On your group's wiki page, discuss the mood or tone of your book.What is the overriding emotion of this book? What examples back up your claim?**
 * Assignment:

We think that the overall mood/tone of this book is sardonic because the main character, Judd is living such a despair life. The book is told in Judd's prospective and the events in his life, from his divorce, an unplanned baby, and the death of his father, gives the book that type of mocking, cynical vibe. The over-riding emotion of this book is despair for the same reasons as why the book is Sardonic. The story includes a barrage of negative events that make the reader feel at a loss of hope, and makes us feel bad for the characters.

Lenny brought food. They were cookies named Jingles. Ali asked a question about Philip’s relationship with his therapist, and we all agreed that it’s because Philip was neglected as a child and he is looking for attention that he didn’t get from his family. Kris thinks that Judd is really in love with Jen and that’s why he’s avoiding her, however, Lenny thinks that he genuinely hates her. It’s a little hard to tell right now because Judd’s mouth doesn’t necessarily match his mind. Although Kris thinks that Judd is going to get back together with Jen, I don’t think that at all. I don’t think Jen will take Judd back even if that’s what he wants. She is already with Wade, and I don’t think either one has that much interest in getting back with the other. We all think that this book has a desperate, sardonic tone to it. Judd’s life is full of despair and the way that Jonathan Tropper writes displays that very clearly. We also went over the questions from last week and discussed Judd’s fear of getting old. We think that’s a newly developed fear from Jen leaving him. We also talked about Horry and how we think that he feels sorry for himself. He doesn’t want others to feel pity him, but he is content feeling bad for himself. We’re very confused by Judd’s missing leg dream. We think it possibly has to do with that he feels like something in his life that he used to have. He has nothing to support him in his life. Judd’s very judgmental and always has been, but the recent tragic events in his life have brought that out even more.
 * Meeting Record**

Food: Ali Discussion Leader: Kelsey Questions: Kris Recorder: Lenny
 * Week 4**

We arrived at English class and sat down at our station. Ali brought Cheez-its and Ginger ale for all of us to eat. We chatted for the first few minutes, and then started to focus on the book. Ali already finished the book, so she told us all about how we’re going to cry at the end. We started to answer the discussion questions about themes and symbols. Kelsey pointed out as we worked that the book is going to be made into a feature film, so we talked about who would be the actors in that movie. Kris prepared five questions, and once we finished answering the questions on the website, we started to answer his questions. We ate starbursts from a different group as we answered.
 * Meeting Summary:**

In Judd's dreams, a dog bites off his leg and he is trying to one without one. The dog biting off his leg represents how he always remembers the event when he was little where Paul was trying to help him by beating up a kid who bullied him, but got attacked by his dog. He still feels guilty about it and it represents how certain events from his life come back to haunt him. Jonathan Tropper probably uses this because he wants to show how Judd keeps things bottled up. He never lets go. The shiva chairs are lower than the rest of the chairs in the house, and that's where the family sits. It shows how they feel inferior to the people visiting and helpless. They feel like they don't have complete control, which they are used to. The author uses the shiva chairs to represent this because the book is told from Judd's point of view, and all the characters are ignorant and self-righteous, so you're never able to see how they are feeling upset or useless or helpless or anything else unwanted. Horry is disabled, and he represents the overall theme of innocence in the book. He's one of the characters, as well as Judd, that something bad has happened to even when they didn't deserve it. Everyone's lives are going wrong in ways that they don't necessarily deserve, but Horry clearly represents it. Because of his accident, he's now disabled, and that happened to be because of bad luck. Tropper probably does this because he wants to show that idea of innocence. It's hard to see sometimes, but he wants to show his readers somehow. Although it is known that anger, ignorance, and regret are main themes, he wants to be able to show that a lot of the characters are in fact innocent, they just have some bad luck.
 * What are some of the images that are used? What do they seem to represent? Why do you think the author uses these images to convey his or her meaning?**


 * Questions:**


 * 1. Which girl, Jen, Alice, or Penny do you think that Judd is most compatible with and why?**
 * Lenny**: Alice would be the most, because it was proven during their high school years that they could work together.
 * Kelsey:** I think Penny is the best because even though they're really different they both had a long history together. He's also the most happy with her.
 * Ali:** I think that he's the best with Penny but I feel that Judd thinks he's the best with Jen because all the controversy that has happened between them.
 * Kris:** I think that Penny is the most compatible with Judd because they share the best memories together. They have been good friends since school and although they were different, they had a good relationship.

We feel that Judd respected and loved Paul even more after the incident but we feel that Paul never forgave him. Had Paul not gotten attacked, he would have gone on to play baseball professionally, but after the injury he future was ruined.
 * 2. Explain how the incident with the Rottweiler affected the relationship between Judd and Paul.**

I think that the Dad wanted the family to sit Shiva because he wanted their family to bond and be together. Throughout their whole lives, they have constantly argued and stayed apart and this Shiva sitting would allow them to spend time together.
 * 3. Now that we're this far into the book, what do you think the purpose of the Shiva chairs was? Do you really think their nonreligious father would participate in this religious activity?**

No, not really because their father was never a prominent figure in their life and they are all used to spending time on their own.
 * 4. Do you really think that the family members feeling feel at a loss without their father because they seem to be going through everyday activities anyway. Why?**

We think that he wanted to see his father more as laid back person instead of a "militant" like figure. Throughout their life, they the Foxman family knew their father as his harsh man and finding the pot in his pocket relays to them that he was a "carefree type of person". It would make mourning his death for personal and easy.
 * 5. When they found the pot in their father's suit, why did Phil not want to believe that the joint was not for medical purposes.?**

Questions: Kelsey and Lenny (collaborative effort) Recorder: Ali Discussion Leader: Kelsey (again) Food: Kris
 * Week 5**

1. Do you think Judd will stay in Maine, return to Penny for the spark, or settle for Jen and restart that marriage? Ali:** I think that he will try to get back with Jen at first, but fail, and then end up with Penny in the end anyway.
 * Questions
 * Kris:** I think he will ultimately end up with Jen. She has his baby, and it's hard to leave your child.
 * Kelsey:** I think that Judd is going to return to Penny. I don't know when exactly he will decide it or what will happen before it, but he's going to end up with her in the end.

We all agree that Horry probably feels uncomfortable at first, but he's happy for his mother. She's spent much of her life taking care of him, someone with a disability, and he's glad that his mother is finally doing something for herself that makes her happy.
 * 2. How do you think Horry feels about his mother, Linda, being in love with Judd’s mother?**


 * 3. Now that the story has ended, do you feel differently about the main siblings than you did when the story, or the Shiva, began?**
 * Ali:** I feel less more sympathy for Paul because I think we were able to see him more as a human than as the angry brother. But I still feel the same way about Judd, Wendy, and Phillip.
 * Kris:** I feel the same way about all of them except Judd. Because after he found out about Judd having his baby, he ignored the problem and ignored Jen, so I lost a lot of respect for him.
 * Kelsey:** I'm opposite of Kris, because I grew to like Judd more as the story progressed. Not for any reason in particular, but I had disliked him in the beginning, and as the story went on, I didn't have more respect or sympathy for him, he just grew on me. And I also ended up really liking Wendy, which I didn't expect. I think she helped Judd a lot, and I think she was just overall a kind of cool character.

Ali:** I think that Jen and Wade still would've broken up and that Judd might have severed ties with her all together so there would be less of a chance of them getting back together.
 * 4. How would the story have been different if Jen had had another miscarriage? Would she still be with Wade? Would the story have ended differently? What would’ve happened to Judd?
 * Kris:** I think that if she had had a miscarriage, she still would've broken up with Wade because the baby showed her how much she still cared for Judd. She still would've broken up with Wade, because the idea of the baby would've brought her and Judd together.
 * Kelsey:** I agree with both Ali and Kris in different ways. I still think Jen and Wade would've broken up. I don't think their break up had to do with the baby as much as it did that they weren't compatible. The only reason that they were together was because she was upset with her marriage. Once that was over, she realized Wade wasn't right for her. I think that the miscarriage would've still brought Jen and Judd together again because they realized what they were because of it.


 * 5. Do you think Mort is proud of his children even with all their fights and affairs and issues?**
 * Ali:** I think that he would've been proud of his children for sitting Shiva regardless of if it was his actual wishes or not. In the end, what it did for them and their relationships was good.
 * Kris:** Although they weren't really a family before he died, sitting Shiva allowed them to be a lot closer together as a family. So yeah, I think he would've been proud.
 * Kelsey:** I think that Mort would've been really proud of his family. Ultimately, the fights and issues helped them out. They made a lot of progress in their relationships and fixed a lot of long-term problems, and the resolutions were long overdue. I think he would've been proud in the end, even if they handled things in the wrong way at first.

All four of us really enjoyed this book. Although there's 2 girls and 2 boys in our group, we were all able to relate and extremely enjoyed reading the book. We would only recommend this book to our peers who are on the mature side. There's a lot of graphic sex and very mature subjects, so there definitely are some 15 and 16 year olds that shouldn't read it. We learned a lot from the book because it deals with a real life situation and the depression and issues that come along with leading a seemingly "normal" by definition life. We learned a lot about how certain families deal with loss, and how not all relationships work out the way we plan. That taught us a lot about what is to come, and the best way to deal with difficult situations when we're faced with them. None of us have ever read a book like this before, and so it was very interesting to try something new. Jonathan Tropper is an excellent writer and is able to appeal to many people. This book definitely should not be considered for the school's curriculum, due to the extremely mature subject matter. But if a mature high schooler were looking for a great book to read outside of school, this would be a great choice if they're looking for something that even though it has a lot of depression in it, it has some great humor mixed in and is very well written. When this book becomes a movie (which Jonathan Tropper is already working with Time Warner on), we will definitely see it with excitement. It's going to be very interesting to see how they make the life of a divorced man with a dead father and pregnant ex-wife, a disabled man who has seizures, and a dysfunctional family with years of unresolved issues come together and see if they'll be able to pull off the same magic we found in the book.
 * Discuss your final reflections on this book. Would you recommend it to peers? Why or why not? Has this topic been discussed more/less effectively in another book or books? Should this book be considered for the school's curriculum?**

Kris and Kelsey arrived to class and began drinking their cream soda. Ali arrived just a few minutes later, with sushi in tow. After sharing some sushi and drinking the sodas, they started in on the Valentine’s Day cookies. Then, they got down to business. We discussed what we thought would happen after the open-ended conclusion and our changing perceptions of the characters. We also talked about how Jen’s pregnancy affected the outcome. We then discussed our overall experience with the book and whether we would consider it for the school’s curriculum, which we decided against.
 * Summary:**